happy birthday to me: 29 lessons I’ve learned in 29 years

29 lessons I've learned in 29 years | via The Spirited Violet
I can be good at a lot of things, but it doesn't mean I have to exert effort into all of them. | via The Spirited Violet
there is even more good to come | via The Spirited Violet
no one is "just" a person" | via The Spirited Violet
this too shall pass | via The Spirited Violet

If a blogger has a birthday and you didn’t hear about it, did it really happen?  Last year I didn’t write anything and I still turned 28 😂😂.  I’m 29 years old now and it feels wild that in just another year I’m 30.  We aren’t fancy birthday people, but I look forward to spending some really good quality time with Devin this weekend.  Our yearly tradition for my birthday is grabbing a piece of cake from the Brazilian Bakery and then we’ll be grabbing food at my favorite Mexican restaurant.  

I don’t feel very grown up still.  I still feel like I just started college?!  Until then, I’ll fake it and I’ll share the 29 lessons I’ve learned in my life (and I’m sure there are many, many more).

  1. Ignore the people that say getting married young to the right person means my life is toast; I found the opposite to be true and it really isn’t any of their business.
  2. No one is a “just” person.  Any contribution people are working on matters from motherhood to being a friend.
  3. I never want to be the best person in the room.  Finding friends who kindly help me grow in different areas has been one of my best gifts in life.
  4. Sometimes being angry is just fine and really necessary.
  5. Redirecting in conversations, life plans, and a million other things is okay.
  6. It is okay to not like everyone (this was revolutionary for me), but kindness is always needed.
  7. My husband can be my a lot of things, but he is one person and he can’t be my everything.  I can’t fully depend on him to fulfill all of my needs in life; it wouldn’t be fair.  I need friends, hobbies, and other fulfilling things in my life to fill myself up too.
  8. I’ll never be too old for petting zoos or watching the elephant exhibit for hours.
  9. Extended anxiety usually means I haven’t expressed boundaries or know how to handle a situation; it doesn’t mean I am defective.
  10. If I feel ignored by a Doctor, it is okay to get a second or third opinion.  Getting diagnosed with my autoimmune illness should not have been dependent on my losing half of my hair after complaining for years.
  11. I need a lot of alone and recharging time and that is fine.
  12. Empathy is the hardest gift that we can receive in this life.
  13. I will always be a life long learner, but it doesn’t mean I have to be in school.  I’m enjoying this phase of investing in what I call “continuing ed for life” through books and programs on the internet I find.
  14. I find a great deal of comfort in realizing that homemaking isn’t something I define as home maintenance;  I am still learning how to get into my home routine though and that’s okay.
  15. No one is entitled to more information than I feel like giving them about my privacy.
  16. I will never outgrow making interpersonal boo boos, but I can always develop better apology skills.
  17. It is okay to be the oldest people at church without kids.  It has been isolating at times, but our good friends don’t care and neither should I.
  18. No one can take care of me or even know how to take care of me like I can.  So, value the time for ample self-care.
  19. Something is learned and gained from every friendship and relationship, but some of them have a shelf life and that is okay.
  20. It is okay to be very enthusiastic, emotional, and very many other things.  Different settings call for different levels of openness, but there is no shame in being myself.
  21. A simple life is highly underrated.
  22. It is good to be considerate, but sometimes the problem isn’t really mine.
  23. Always having something to look forward to, even if it ends up changing, can mean so much.
  24. I can be good at a lot of things, but it doesn’t mean I have to exert effort into all of them.
  25. Dating the nice guy who is uncomplicated is highly underrated, but highly recommended.
  26. God’s love is inherent to being a child of God, but for peace of mind and to feel closer to Him I make choices consistent with my belief system.
  27. I shouldn’t feel bad for the privileges I’ve had in life, but it does mean I should use mine to help others if I can.
  28. Any bad thing in my life?  I promise, this too shall pass.
  29. Any good thing in my life?  There is even more to come.

I have little clue was year 29 has in store for me, but I know we’ll go to Ireland and I’ll be able to celebrate my 7th wedding anniversary with Devin.  I’ll be honest that I’m looking forward to 30.  30 will be my first full decade of life just with Devin for the rest of forever 🙂 and I have thought about that every birthday since we were married.

I’m optimistic that this year will just keep on improving on years past.  I have a lot to be grateful for, I have a lot of really excellent friends, and I’m excited for the adventure ahead. ♥♥♥

  • Cindy Fox

    Happy Birthday, Autumn. What a beautiful share of 29 lessons you’ve learned. What a neat and fitting way to start your 29th year! Thanks for being uniquely you! I appreciate this very much and you give me and probably many others encouragement to be ourselves.
    Have a wonderful day and enjoy all the day brings.

  • Cindy Fox

    Happy Birthday, Autumn. What a beautiful share of 29 lessons you’ve learned. What a neat and fitting way to start your 29th year! Thanks for being uniquely you! I appreciate this very much and you give me and probably many others encouragement to be ourselves.
    Have a wonderful day and enjoy all the day brings.

  • Christine C.

    Happy Birthday! I love every single thing that you listed!

  • Christine C.

    Happy Birthday! I love every single thing that you listed!

  • I’ve always loved lists like this–I think there’s so much wisdom here. And I especially LOVE how you phrased #26—love love love it. Happy 29th birthday to you! Hope this last year of your twenties treats you well.

  • I’ve always loved lists like this–I think there’s so much wisdom here. And I especially LOVE how you phrased #26—love love love it. Happy 29th birthday to you! Hope this last year of your twenties treats you well.

  • Lindsey Carson

    I love this post. Thanks for sharing your insights. You’re wonderful. 🙂

  • Lindsey Carson

    I love this post. Thanks for sharing your insights. You’re wonderful. 🙂

  • Happy Birthday! And a great list of lessons. 20s are a pretty great learning period.

  • Happy Birthday! And a great list of lessons. 20s are a pretty great learning period.