tell your own story and see the good in it

When I decided to re-launch my blog, I knew I wanted to keep things pretty light and upbeat… and also that I didn’t want to write excessively on my blog about blogging ha!.  Recently, I received a comment saying that a person wished an aspect of their life had been like mine when ironically there were many things I should not share.  I had decided the theme in my blog would be about keeping the good things good to help myself look back happily on the things I’ve experienced, but also to use writing as a way to help me manage an anxiety disorder.

I hope when you read my blog that you realize I am a person outside of pictures and text.  I know  it can be so easy to be swept up into the one-dimensional lives that are portrayed on the internet and wonder what you should be doing differently to be able to achieve that in your life.

This doesn’t mean I won’t ever talk about hard things on my blog, but I have learned that there is a trick about telling them.  Make sure when you are telling a story, make sure it is actually your own story to tell.  When you have decided it is, take care to tell your own story.

Tell your own story and see the good in it: an essay about making sure you are telling your own story on social media | via The Spirited VioletTell your own story and see the good in it: an essay about making sure you are telling your own story on social media | via The Spirited VioletTell your own story and see the good in it: an essay about making sure you are telling your own story on social media | via The Spirited Violet

The completely joyous and entirely overwhelming part of life is how interconnected it is with other people.  There are so many experiences I would tell you in person if we sat down to eat lunch, but blogging is not the appropriate medium.  Sometimes I do wonder when people are candidly typing if they realize how much the things they are saying may impact people.

I will always remember my first public blog in high school when I wrote about an experience I had a boy that I had a  really uncomfortable experience with.  I wanted to write about my experiences and I thought I was real coy by putting a nickname for him instead of his real name, but then he messaged me on MSN messenger saying he had found my blog and how hurtful it was that I wrote about him.

He was exactly right!  I immediately took the posts down and almost 10 years later I still thank my lucky stars that he emailed me and called me out on my immaturity (regardless of how weird the situation was, it was wrong).  So often we have experiences that are hard, but they can’t be separated from the people around us to be able to share them.

We live in a world that has websites dedicated to making fun of people for how they look, what kind of haircut they have, or how they live their lives.  It is so commonplace to consume these items in humor without realizing they were often created without the person’s permission.  I feel we collectively should take care of the pictures and words we create, view, and distribute to make sure that we aren’t contributing to the hurt.

I’m of the opinion that there is enough negativity in the world and social media without adding to it.

I’ve had chronic pain for years, but I’ve had years without it.
I’ve had sessions that have made therapists cry, but I’ve had ones that make them smile.
I’ve had heart ache from friends, family, and loved ones, but I’ve also had a lot of joy.
I’ve had to choose estrangement, but I’ve also chosen engagement.
I’ve had panic attacks, but I’ve also felt euphoria from pushing on.
I’ve felt unloved, but I am loved.
I’ve felt ugly, but I’m not.

I’ve had a lot of experiences I didn’t mention and I will continue to have them, both good and bad.  I do believe in contrast and I do believe in the power of empathy.

I don’t think everything in this world is happy and in fact, I know it isn’t.  Like I’ve said in previous posts, I actually consider myself more of a realist than an optimist and this is one of those things I’m working on.  My brand of optimism doesn’t believe in brushing things under the rug, but it does look for hope in the future. 

Tell your own story and see the good in it: an essay about making sure you are telling your own story on social media | via The Spirited VioletTell your own story and see the good in it: an essay about making sure you are telling your own story on social media | via The Spirited Violet

I’ve felt a lot of things in this world, but the best one I’ve experienced is happiness.  Contagious happiness.  Happiness that comes from peaceful resolution.  Happiness that comes from working hard for something.  Happiness that comes from knowing that things have worked out better than I had thought.

I hope when you read my blog that you can read my posts from a point of gratitude for the things that are working in my life, knowing that there are plenty of things that certainly aren’t, and I hope you know that I’m hoping the same for you.

  • Such a wonderful post! I love this idea!

  • I love this! Came here via your link on facebook, I’m glad you’ve started your blog again and I’m excited to read it and get to know you a little better 🙂
    Anyway I’ve had these exact same thoughts and I am occasionally astounded by the personal experiences people will post on the internet. I believe there are appropriate ways to share the hard parts of life with the interwebs, but like you said, make sure the stories are yours to tell.

    • Hi Rachel! As soon as I went to your blog I recognized your sweet family because I was in your husband’s ward in college- he’s awesome! Your little girl is so precious!

  • This is so powerful! I totally agree with trying to find the good in the bad – its hard as all heck sometimes, but it does a lot to ease my soul!

  • What an inspirational; post. I think your words and positive point of view, even in the face of dark days, will encourage others to look for the good in life.

    • I hope so!! I have been inspired by a lot of other people’s positivity when they have experienced difficult things and I hope I can do more of that in the future. Thanks for reading!

  • Nice post! Thanks for shedding light on telling your own story. You are so right people become caught up in other people’s stories and there is more than meet the eye. Regardless of what has happen in our lives good or bad, it’s our life and we need to embrace and find out what works for us… Thanks for sharing…

    • It is so easy to get caught up in everything. I definitely understand that and struggle with that. Thanks for reading!

  • I love blogs that are STORIES rather than reviews or giveaways. I like to learn new things and read about events in others lives. I think that you have a great future ahead with your blog and I can’t wait to read more! <3 Christine, The Choosy Mommy, http://www.choosykids.blogspot.com

    • Thanks for your sweet comment Christine. I prefer blogs that have stories too and I have been trying to stick to that :). I’ve totally done two giveaways in the last month, but I’m trying to de-emphasize them in my posts.

  • Words are so powerful and when they’re immortalized on the Internet, it’s so hard to take them back. I think this post is a wonderful reminder that we can share our lives but still be responsible and respectful.

    • I definitely agree. I still deeply regret writing about that poor guy in high school!

  • Thank you for sharing- I love your perspective- (real but still grateful) I find it very refreshing!

    On a side note I also love your theme and the overall look of your blog- so cute and stylish!

    • Thanks for your sweet message Jessy!

  • Great post. I think that a lot of people appreciate honesty in their posts. But there is also a difference between sharing your opinion and having tact. Some people don’t know where that line is.
    I like that you keep up with the positive aspects in your blog. Glad to be following along 🙂

    • That line is pretty hard to find. I definitely agree!!

  • Thank you for sharing – you are inspiring and I love the pictures btw 🙂

    • Thanks for the sweet comment!

  • This is a really great post, we should definitely be weary of what we share online especially about other people. There is enough negativity to last a lifetime in this world but there is also enough positivity in equal measure.

    • I definitely agree. I think sometimes there is so much negativity in life that it is nice to take a break from it when I am writing!

  • I try to mix it up share a bit of my story and at the same time make sure is upbeat.

    • I think that is awesome 🙂 !

  • Telling your story (and making sure it is actually your story to tell) is something I am struggling with on my new blog. I’m a mom, and I want to share about things that have happened in our house to help others, but I don’t want my daughters to stumble across what I’ve written one day and feel embarrassed. It’s a line I’m still learning how to toe, and I’m hoping it gets easier to see as they get a little older.

    Thanks for a great, upbeat post, and some really great advice.

    • I’m not a Mom yet, but that is something I have thought a lot about when I am. I don’t know where that line is or how I will approach it. It would be challenging when they are really young because you literally are their whole world and it is SO interconnected with yours!!

  • Love your positive attitude! Beautiful words – glad you’re back blogging!

  • If optimism is the largest part of your personality, I think it makes sense to write your blog that way too! I think you can be real and still not negative.

  • Could not agree more with this, thank so much for sharing!

  • Lovely post. I love that quote by Joseph B. Worthlin

  • Awesome, uplifting post, Autumn. Authenticity is key in the blogging world and its refreshing to see another blogger who is genuine and speaks from the heart. Keep up the great work!

    Taylor @ http://www.theglobaldarling.com/blog

    • Thank you for your sweet comment!

  • eliz frank

    Autumn, I share your sentiments about this matter. Some folks are very comfy with hanging all their dirty laundry out there for the world to see, whilst some of us would rather leave that laundry at home. I write to uplift myself and others. Like you, my life is not perfect. I choose to write about things that fill my spirit with gratitude and that raise questions about the world we inhabit. 🙂

    • and I think you do a great job at it! 🙂

    • whenever i start to share something more personal, i write it and leave it sitting in ‘draft’ for a few days. I normally don’t do that with posts but i wait to see if i’m actually comfortable with it or not. i appreciate your honest voice in this post – i deal with chronic pain as well and it is a very rough road. Blessings!

      • I do the same thing actually, too! I have had posts sit for months. I like to sit on things to see if I wrote it from a sense of being emotional or if it actually came from a sense of resolution.

        Chronic pain is such a beast. Sometimes I can feel so frustrated at myself for not realizing how awesome I used to have it. Contrast is such a good teacher for perspective.

        • So true Autumn! I look back when I was working and interning and realize that even though I had chronic pain back then it was nothing like now!

  • What a lovely post Autumn ! Of everything I’ve readaboit blogging , this rings so true and such a thoughtful way of putting it. Thank you for being such a kind soul and sharing !

  • Hi Autumn,

    This was a lovely post, can’t wait to read more of what you have to say. Thanks for sharing.

  • This is perfect advice!!!! I’ve thought through things like this so often because there are a lot of things – especially about my siblings and parents – that I don’t feel is right to share on my blog. It’s hard when people assume that means life is perfect but that’s not my problem, I guess. I’m vulnerable enough about my own life and, when my husband says I can share it, vulnerable with my husband’s life but that’s as far as I’ll go.

    • It is so hard to figure out what the parameters of a story are!!

    • Summer @ Coffee With Summer

      Love this post, Autumn. Thank you for sharing. I, too – consider myself a realist, haha.

      • I’m glad you liked it, Summer! I am working really hard on the optimism card and it has been a house hold goal. Baby steps ♥